Involuntary Desire
by crazymiko
Summary: Stirrings of forgotten times and urges lead to a night in a dream. SchuxAya


**Title: **Involuntary Desire

**Author: **Animeisgreat (ff.net), Crazy Miko

**Rating:** R

**Chapter: **1/1

**Warnings:** Yaoi, vague lemon

**Pairings:** SchuldichxAya

**Summary:** Stirrings of forgotten times and urges lead to a night in a dream.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Weiss Kreuz; it is the property of Koyasu Takehito and affiliated persons. "How soon is now?" belongs to t.A.T.u but the song was originally done by someone else I think.

**Notes:** This is an errant plot bunny that struck after the combination of t.A.T.u's rendition of "How soon is now?" and Nekojita's fic 'Fever' Similarities are unintentional but most likely present.

Thanks to Nyx for the wonderful beta!

Involuntary Desire

            A stirring, an impulse, the reemergence of a young man's desire to have fun; any number of excuses could be made to explain his situation. Getting Youji off his back, curiosity, what did it really matter? Aya didn't feel like explaining himself to anyone. The fact he chose to go to a club was nobody's business but his own. He just felt the need to go. It wasn't a logical desire, just one that appeared without his consent. Perhaps there was a little bit of reason for it, he hadn't thought of it until he had seen the outfit lying innocently in the bottom of his closet. The leather pants and shimmering violet top were relics from his days before the explosion. An older friend of his had promised to bring him to a club the weekend after Aya-chan's birthday; the outfit had been on hold in on of Tokyo's nicer boutiques. 

            After the explosion he hadn't really thought about it again**,** except for the few minutes he spent inside the store picking up his purchase. There wasn't any reason not to**,** and the outfit had been expensive. Aya just assumed he would find a use for it somehow. This was as good as use as any, at least this way the clothes would be used for the purpose they were intended for. A little part of Aya even thought he might enjoy the experience a little; he had been very excited about going when his friend had mentioned it to him.

            Aya couldn't really remember the last time he went out for fun instead of for missions or necessary shopping trips. The last time he could remember was the night of the explosion**,** though he wasn't sure if that qualified since Aya-chan had guilted him into taking her. Regardless, he was there and that was all that matted. Now he would be able to give Youji a satisfactory reason for avoiding such places. The club had loud music and equally loud people who were quite content to act on their base desires.

            He had only been in the club for a few minutes before deciding to retire to the relative safety of the bar. The entire place made him uncomfortable, especially when some of the other patrons had taken more than a passing interest in him. It was understandable, his naturally exotic colouring standing out more than any artificial dyes could. Still, he couldn't bring himself to leave; there was something that compelled him to stay within the club**'**s crowded confines. He nursed a weak beer and watched the mass of bodies dance in a way that seemed better suited to the privacy of a secluded room.  

_~I am the son_

_and the heir_

_Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar_

_I am the son and heir_

_Of nothing in particular~_

            A few of the braver dancers attempted to drag Aya onto the floor**,** only to be treated with a cold glare and curt refusal. Still**,** they tried, many far to inebriated to realize the danger in their actions. Aya turned back to his drink and continued to wait for something or someone**, **which he didn't know it was just a feeling. Aya trusted his instincts; they had saved his life more times than he cared to count.

            Seconds, minutes, hours, time moved by liquidly as Aya watched the dancers and listened to the pounding bass of the music. His drink sat forgotten on the counter, the ice cubes melting slowly in the glass. There was a tug on the edge of his conscious, unexplainable yet undeniable. He reached for his glass and was surprised to feel the sides moist with condensation. How long had he been sitting there staring into the crowd? Why was he still here? What was he looking for?

_~You shut your mouth_

_How can you say_

_I go about things the wrong way?_

_I am human and I need to be loved_

_Just like everybody else does~_

            As if in a dream**,** Aya abandoned his seat at the bar to drift into the crowd. He was pulled in close to many different bodies**,** but he didn't remember a single face as he danced with them. It was awkward at first but he picked up the rhythm fairly quickly**,** and none of his partners seemed to mind his lack of skill. In a clearer part of his mind Aya wondered if any of them even noticed. He didn't dwell on it, for some reason it felt as if his head was full of cotton. He assumed it was just the alcohol and continued his dancing. That was the point wasn't it? To come here and get shitfaced. To say he did it. Why else would he be here, he wasn't meeting anyone.

            Aya grew tired of dancing quickly, it was all the same. Still, he didn't leave. He just made his way back to the bar where his seat was waiting**,** and the outside of his glass sported a new layer of moisture on it. Carelessly, he cast his thoughts towards his life. What had he been doing for the past few years? Why were things the way they were? Was he fulfilled with this life style? Most of his questions weren't answered; it was easier to drown them in beer. Or maybe it was something stronger, Aya wasn't sure. He didn't care; someone else had been buying the drinks for him. He thinks he knows them, the name sounded familiar but he can't remember it. What's the point? Aya didn't feel like his life would be endangered by not knowing.

            If possible the mass of people grew larger as the night wore on**,** and its denizens emerged from wherever they had been lurking while the sun was up. Fleetingly he wondered if Youji would come here. Probably not, Youji would most likely be in someone else's bed by now. Once again Aya felt a tugging, but this time someone was pulling on his sleeve. Aya followed the man out onto the dance floor without even looking at him. A flash of orange and blue was all he saw before his back was pulled up against the man's chest. Warm hands coasted down his sides as they moved in time to the music. He felt the man smile into his hair and whisper things he wasn't sure he heard. Aya didn't care; it felt different, nice even.

_~There's a club if you'd like to go_

_You could meet somebody_

_Who really loves you_

_So you go and you stand own your own_

_And you leave on your own_

_And go home, and you cry_

_And you want to die~_

            Aya felt tired, he had been here for hours and the pace his unknown partner set was becoming too much to keep up with. He sagged back against the man and was rewarded by a soft laugh and those warm hands pulling him further away from the crowd of people. For some reason he couldn't turn to look at him, at his partner, captor? He wasn't sure anymore. The only thing he had seen all night was orange hair that occasionally fell over his shoulder and a flash of blue eyes. He seemed familiar**,** but Aya couldn't remember anyone that fit the description**.** It felt like his thoughts had become even more clouded.

Relax Kätzchen, just let me guide you

            Aya murmured a protest at the pet name, the use of German tickling at the edge of his conscious as an important fact. The words made sense though**,** and he let the man take him to his car. Aya handed over his keys without a second thought, he felt like this man could be trusted and mumbled the address of the Koneko to him before passing out in the front seat.

**********

            Cool hands on his forehead brought him back to awareness; idly he wondered what had happened. Those hands were supposed to be warm. A familiar laugh greeted him and he looked up to see the man from the club leaning over him. They were in his room, and judging by the clock they had only been there for a few minutes. It had been a little past one when they had left the club. Something else was demanding his attention now that he was fully awake, the headache he had anticipated seemed to be missing and another ache in an unexpected place took precedence in his mind. The other man smiled at him and leaned down even closer**,** so their noses were touching. Very distantly something in his mind screamed a warning but he was feeling too relaxed to care.

That's it. Listen to your body. I've been waiting for this         

            Aya reached up to twist a few of the orange stands of the man's hair in his fingers, hair so soft that it only served to heighten his need to touch the man. Something still felt off about the entire encounter**,** but the hands stroking him left little room for him to care. The man closed the last few inches in between them**,** and Aya found himself thinking of cigarettes as the other man explored his mouth. Slowly things began to make sense but not enough for him to stop. What was the harm in one night? It wasn't like he was sleeping with the enemy; he was entitled to a bit of physical comfort.

            Still, Aya weakly protested as insistent hands began divesting him of his clothing. The man's mouth on his neck soon changed his mind and he reached up to return the favor, pausing only to lift his hips to aide the man in sliding the tight leather pants off. Aya heard a mewling sound but he wasn't sure where it came from. He didn't think it came from him. Surely he didn't sound like that. The man above him ignored it though and continued to explore his body. Aya let out a small sound of surprise to feel the man's hand between his legs but let it go without protesting. It felt right. Instead, Aya moved his own hands lower until the man on top of him was moaning.

            Aya had been so distracted with pleasuring his partner and being pleasured that he hadn't noticed the fingers at his entrance. It wasn't his first time, far from it actually. He had a lover once. He couldn't remember them now. All he could think about was his partner as the hands drove him to even greater distraction and something else nudged insistently at the now loosened muscle. The man obviously had done this before, he had waited for Aya to adjust before moving again**,** and he quickly found the spot that made Aya see stars. The man made him feel so good.

Schuldich, call me Schuldich

            Schuldich, the name rolled off Aya's tongue as Schuldich brushed against the spot again. The warning in the back of his mind was still there, but all of a sudden it felt like something had crushed it**,** and all he could feel was the pleasure radiating from his lower body. Soon he heard a shout that he was sure didn't come from him**,** and Aya's world once again faded to black after a few seconds of intense pleasure.

*********

            A sated Schuldich looked down at the unconscious man he had finally managed to get into his bed. It had taken a ridiculous amount of planning**,** but it had been worth it. With a sigh he raised himself up off the bed and began to clean up the room. It wouldn't do to have Aya panic in the morning when he realized what had happened. At this point it would be better if he thought it was all a dream born from too much alcohol. Schuldich frown disapprovingly, the man drank far too much last night. It was a miracle he was even awake long enough to have any fun. Then again, Schuldich thought, he probably wouldn't have been awake if it wasn't for his help.

            Dumping Aya's clothes in the hamper, Schuldich wondered what he was going to do from here. Toying with Weiss like this would be fun; there might even be a side bonus or two if he went about it properly. Industriously, Schuldich removed the last traces of his presence from both Aya's body and room. Giving the bed another once over to check from stray strands of hair that would incriminate him, Schuldich lifted his power from the other minds in the Koneko. In and out and none of them would be the wiser, Weiss's security was pitiful. With one last look at the sleeping form in the bed Schuldich left with plans for a repeat performance already forming.

*********

            Aya jerked awake, the dream he had just had had been disturbing. He soon regretted the sudden movement as his hangover chose to make itself known. Swearing, Aya lay back down with his arm over his eyes. It was just a dream, the only reason he was sure he even went to the club was the dirty clothes sticking out of the hamper. Cursing himself Aya vowed never to touch alcohol again, the entire experience had been too surreal. Next time he went to the club he wouldn't have anything to drink, he'd just dance. He wasn't sure why he wanted to return to that place, he just felt inclined to go shopping. This time he would buy a blue shirt, he remembered seeing a very beautiful blue last night.

_~When you say it's gonna happen now_

_What exactly do you mean?_

_See I've already waited too long _

_And all my hope is gone_

_You shut your mouth_

_How can you say_

_I go about things the wrong way?_

_I am human and I need to be loved_

_Just like everybody else does~_

-"How Soon is Now?" sung by t.A.T.u


End file.
